Am I really grown up yet?

I find myself at times asking the question Am I really grown up yet? Not at all. I think none of us are until we stand the test of time.

Look at me, I'm in my 30's. I have three kids LOL. I've made many mistakes but the thing I really grow from is what I can learn from others and my mistakes. I want to make mistakes, I know, I know it sounds odd. But yes I really do, so my understanding of life grows more wiser.

I wonder now about my old age. I'm years from it, but I really want to know. What I'll be doing from 30 years from now. I know what I hope for. What I really want to have is understanding of this life. Does anyone ever get wiser? Yes some do I think. It comes with a lot of mistakes.

The first thing I want are my kids to have a safe life. I want the best for them, I put my dreams on hold so I can full fill theirs. We have something going on everyday of the week. Boxing, ballet classes, art classes etc etc. So I cant really find anytime for myself, its OK. I want that for them I want them to have the things I never did. Its only right for me to think this way, people who have kids understand where I'm coming from.

So in some ways I'm grown up. I don't want to put myself first or my dreams. Its OK to take time out for yourself once in awhile, but to really just but my kids on the back burner while I venture off with my dreams. Well not now, I would think its selfish. I love being a mother, I love my kids when they win at sports or show me a art project they have done. So I have to say they are the ones who have made me wiser.